Emotional Intelligence

“90% of the difference between star performers and average performers in senior leadership positions is EQ” –Daniel Goleman

The second crucial role of a store manager is emotional intelligence.  The definition of Emotional Intelligence is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions to facilitate high levels of collaboration and productivity.

Ask yourself these questions:

Can my staff work together well despite competing ideas and priorities?

Can my staff show compassion towards each other and customers to resolve never ending business challenges?

Does my staff feel valued?

Do we have a culture that nurtures happiness and positivity?

How can I maximize the potential of my team?

The answers to these questions aren’t always resolved through a bigger paycheck.  What can make a difference between a low performing team and one that is high performing and balanced is Emotional Intelligence (EQ).  

Store managers have to develop new competencies.  We can no longer rely on the old ways of doing things.  The competencies that are at the forefront of business is EQ.  

Emotions drive everything we do:

1. Emotions govern thoughts that lead to our behavior.
2. Behaviors lead to a specific action that determines our reaction
3. Our reaction can lead to the difference between an average experience and a great experience at a staff level or customer level.

We generally hire for skills and yet, in the heat of conflict your skills may be less important than possessing the ability to regulate a response that is in alignment with your company vision/mission statements.

It is the job of a manager to first know their emotions and how to manage their own emotions as well as motivating self.   It is also the job of the manager to recognize and understand their staff’s emotions and manage relationships.  

You should know, it takes four hours for a human to overcome a negative situation.  Let’s say a team member gets cut off on their way to work. If they don’t know how to regulate their emotions, they are only 25% engaged until they have worked through the negative emotion.  If they are dealing with difficult customers throughout the day, it is the job of the manager to identify this and create an environment for the team member to recover. 

In the restaurant industry they use code words like “I am in the weeds” or “Blown” as an indicator to the manager that they need help.  If a server says “I am in the weeds” everyone on the floor understands that a few tables need to be picked up in order to help the team member manage themselves.  In Emotional Intelligence this is known as safe words.  It allows team members to get back to center and behave in a way that is in alignment with the company vision and mission.

How do you start building your emotional intelligence?

1. Dedicate time each day to respectful listening. Practice “listening to understand” rather than “listening to respond”. This can give you incredible insights into what someone else is going through.
2. Be conscious of your breathing. Are you centered? Are you calm?
3. Pause before you respond—especially if you feel anger, frustration, vulnerable or impatient. 
4. Pay attention to—and take responsibility for your feelings. When people ask you how you’re feeling, do you respond with “fine”? Spoiler alert: Fine is not a feeling. Neither is Good.

This will get you started.